I am writing this letter a week after the horrendous events in Cumbria where Derrick Bird took his rifle and killed at random twelve innocent people and then took his own life. For several days the media has been investigating why he should have committed such an act and the probability has come down to jealousy. The twin brother David seems to have had the better deal in life, a lovely house, a comfortable income, money from an inheritance and a strong outlook on life whereas Derrick believed that he possessed nothing, lived in a two-up two-down small house and had no money to speak of. Now I am sure that psychiatrists and others will be able to explain much of Derrick’s actions based on his perverted ideas, but I think we would do well to recognise that such thoughts of envy and jealousy are part & parcel of the human condition. Perhaps the huge swelling of indignant bitterness that overwhelmed Derrick thus leading to such a monumental tragedy could have been averted if he had talked things through with his brother years earlier. Perhaps he could have simply talked things through with someone else, his doctor, or a friend, for we are told that he seemed to be a pleasant enough person, friendly and outgoing. Whatever made his mind snap had apparently been building up for some time.
We all need someone to talk through our particular problems at any given time. In the Church that is part of the role of the Parish Priest and certainly of a Spiritual Director. If you have not such a person, I urge you to seek out a person in whom you can confide, perhaps a priest in another parish if you think that I am too close to you here. I remember years ago in Adelaide when immigration to Australia was in full force with many people arriving on a £10 ticket from the UK or some other European country like Italy or Greece. Every so often there would be an article in the newspapers about people who had lasted for a little while but who missed their homeland. The English became known as ‘Whingeing Poms’ for they always seemed to be complaining, of the heat or of the immigrant accommodation or the poor wages paid to them. And yet there is a sense in which a little moaning can be beneficial – it gets things off the chest and through others’ advice a solution to some of one’s problems may be worked out. The more that the complaint is left internalised, the more it niggles away and can suddenly burst out into violence, both verbal and physical, as in Derrick Bird’s case.
Now I am glad that the apostles moaned, to Jesus and to one another. Remember that incident in the life of the two fishermen, James & John, when they (or their mother) confronted Jesus with the desire that they get the best treatment in Jesus’ emerging kingdom. They desired to sit, one at Jesus’ right hand, and the other at his left, i.e. positions of power, influence and authority. Jesus remarked that the granting of such positions was not in his power. Immediately the other apostles started arguing and complaining about who was the greatest, who was the most important, and conceivably, who would inherit all the wealth and influence of the Kingdom. Perhaps such bitterness against James & John had been building up in the hearts and minds of the other apostles for a while. Thankfully their moanings were overheard by Jesus who called his disciples together and said ‘Whoever wishes to be great among you must be your servant and whoever wishes to be first among you must be slave of all. For the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve….’ Mark 1043-45 The desire to dominate had to be replaced by the desire to serve others. The envy and jealousy which some of the apostles had towards James & John had to be turned into acts of love and service. But if the apostles hadn’t moaned, then they would not have received that crucial advice from Our Lord, advice which still makes sense for us in the 21st century.
James & John took heed of that advice too, for both became great leaders of the young Christian Church and served their Lord faithfully. James, whose Feast Day we celebrate on the 25th July, was the first Apostle to be martyred as St Luke wrote ‘King Herod (Agrippa) laid violent hands upon some who belonged to the church. He had James the brother of John killed with the sword.’ Acts 121,2 On the other hand, John lived perhaps well into his nineties, writing some of the 4th Gospel and living in Ephesus until he was exiled to the isle of Patmos. James had learnt to live without jealousy even though he was in the shadow of John, as Andrew learnt to live in the shadow of his brother Peter. They all got on with proclaiming the Gospel of Jesus, no more grumblings or moanings, for each had his own tasks to perform for Christ.
If we ourselves get on with serving Christ in his Church and community, then we too will learn to move through our whingeing and moaning (that’s the usefulness of our Priest or Spiritual Director or just our friends) to positive service. If Derrick Bird had had a more positive view on life then he would not have committed those acts of senseless murder. If he had talked things through with his brother or with others, he would not have been so negative about life and his place within society. We too can learn from James & John, from the sacramental life of the Church in the Sacrament of Penance, from our grumblings to family and friends, and above all, from our prayers to Our Lord, so that we can remain positive about our usefulness to Him and to our families and to our community.